magazine issue 10 2010 / Issue 11

Positive Psychology and the Importance of Close Relationships in TV Sitcoms: That 70s Show, Entourage, and How I Met Your Mother

• written by Dylan Selterman
• edited by Ashley Waggoner Denton

Another way in which confidence and competence can be boosted is through capitalization (Gable, Gonzaga, & Strachman, 2006; Langston, 1994). Capitalization happens when people share good news with close friends and romantic partners, who in turn respond in an active way so as to maximize the benefits of the event. Capitalizing on positive events increases positive emotion and psychological well-being over and above the actual events themselves (Gable, Reis, Impett, & Asher, 2004). Hyde (like Kelso), never had high expectations for himself, and when he received a high SAT score, he briefly mentioned it in passing to his girlfriend Jackie, not expecting a big reaction. Jackie, however, responded in an overtly positive way. She saw the high score as Hyde’s potential for success, so she cheered him on. Her encouragement propelled him to pursue bigger and better things in his life.

Autonomy

Autonomy stems from a person’s feeling of control over their actions, and is synonymous with independence. When people feel autonomous, they feel in control of their actions and outcomes. The need for autonomy feeds directly into the feeling of vitality and psychological well-being. People need to feel “in charge” of their own lives, because this provides the motivation to take chances, work hard and prosper. Research has shown that when people are free to choose how they solve problems on a cognitive task, they feel greater vitality than if they are given specific directions on how to solve the same problems, regardless of their success (Nix, Ryan, Manly, & Deci, 1999).

It may seem as though being too closely connected to others can interfere with one’s sense of personal control and responsibility. However, psychological research has shown that close relationships are very beneficial not only in boosting people’s competence but their autonomy as well. It would be maladaptive to resist closeness and dependency in relationships, given their positive potential for assistance, guidance, and support. Surprisingly, when people accept the fact that they are dependent on others, they actually feel more autonomous and independent. Psychologists refer to this as the dependency paradox (Feeney, 2007). Research has shown that the degree to which people accept dependence on close others for support, they engage in more independent exploration and achieve more goals on their own (Feeney, 2007).

On How I Met Your Mother, Robin is a job-focused woman who tends to resist closeness and intimacy out of fear that she will lose autonomy and her career will falter. Throughout the series, she accepts job offers all over the globe in pursuit of success, leaving her friends and home behind. However, none of those paths seem fulfilling to her, and as she lets herself grow more intimate with others, she begins to see the value of close relationships and how they allow her to flourish in her career. Robin ultimately chooses to remain in New York with her close friends and boyfriend, viewing them as her source of inspiration.

When close friends equally support each other’s independence, they display mutuality of autonomy support. Research has shown that mutuality of autonomy support is good for relationships. Having autonomy support from friends is associated with higher friendship quality/satisfaction and higher general psychological well-being (Deci, La Guardia, Moller, Scheiner, & Ryan, 2006). When relationships are successful in terms providing warmth and support, this helps increase individuals’ feelings of self-efficacy and competence (La Guardia, Ryan, Couchamn, & Deci, 2000).